Moments Of Peace In The Twilight

It’s crazy what I’ve come through,
To reach this point now,

How this time, last year,
I’d just started seeing a community mental health team,
Whilst living in my car,

And how every day was so up and down,
Finding small things,
Finding moments of focus and calm;

Some days, reaching a limit with stressful mental habits,
I was able to go outside of myself, in sheer mental exhaustion,
And just stare into space intently,
For hours and hours, and hours,

—Those were the times when I felt the best!
Those days of giving up and finally being able to let go,
With no intentions whatsoever for the day,
And gradually coming to realise that I actually felt pretty good!

Those days of recovery would give me momentum,
They’d teach me again how this neutral, centred state feels like,
Which had become so alien;

The more time that goes by,
And the more I look back on that period,
The more proud I am of simply getting through it,
All of those moments alone,
Of being able to normalise it and find sources of inspiration,

And almost every day ended with some kind of optimism,
On the short drive out to the peaceful regional park,
With everything in my car neatly arranged,
I’d put the seat back, move a few things,
And in a den built from all of my possessions,
Fall blissfully into slumber in the beautiful fresh air.

🌪