Here’s another fundamental truth, for me,
And one which I now feel I can do something about, again,
—An initial, immediate dopamine boost from exercise in the mornings,
Is crucial for me to avoid sinking into negative over-thinking!
It really is,
And was the reason behind exercising in the mornings for so long,
Even for all of those years when I wasn’t sleeping properly!
My mood always builds naturally throughout the day,
Peaking in the evenings,
When I regain a ferocious energy;
The disgusting truth,
About this long period of dissociation, though,
Was that I was robbed of gaining anything from exercising,
Through emotionally-painful OCD and Tourrettes-like tics,
I come to the gradual awareness,
That I could benefit from these things again;
To think that, to swim,
I could regain those feelings of utter joy, peace,
Exhilaration and exultance,
There’s just no better feeling;
Though I will buy some dumbbells,
Continue doing pressups,
And it has to complement conscious calm,
Choosing against negative habits.
—I’ve just found another thing that’s been panic-bought into non-existence!!