The Overheating Of This Complex Person

Poem, Trauma 1 Minute

I’ve accidentally left the radiator on,
Without realising,
So that once I came out of the shower,
Instead of cooling down, as I expected to,
I continued to sweat, and sweat,
(The heating comes on at 8pm, here!)

Now everything’s off, window and curtains are open,
Fan is on, for maximum circulation;

Not at all noteworthy, but it brings to mind,
One of my life’s greatest struggles,
Which has affected everythingβ€”

I suffer greatly from the heat in public places,
Or in any indoor environment,
Not within my control,

Everybody else seems to be comfortable at a much higher temperature than me,
Ranging from 5-10 degrees (Celsius) above!

This alone makes working in an office impossible,
Besides other reasons,
And therefore has huge influence in my choosing not to be a scientist,
For example;

The degree of suffering is absolutely enough,
And fully traumatising enough,
To be a single deciding factor in a decision like that;

And it would have to be a scientist working in an office, of course,
Because of the knee problems which limit me so much,
β€”So although working in a marine environment would suit me,
For example,
It is ruled out for that;

All my life so far was trying to find a compromiseβ€”
Something I’m motivated and inspired to do,
Which falls within the physical constraints,
And does not involve being anywhere near an office environment;

My overheating problem was laughed at,
And belittled many times,
Like when I fought to have windows open at work,
β€”It’s always created friction;

But it’s very real, and as yet unexplained,
(If it needs to be);

People have often asked,
How can I stand the cold?
Standing out there topless in freezing temperatures?

I just take forever to cool down,
The heat from a hot shower or exercise,
β€”It takes two hours to dissipate,
(With literal steam pouring off my body in winter,
After cycling the hills of Brighton);

Hence my writing this now,
I’m trying to take my mind off it!!

πŸŒͺ

Published by 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑡 πŸͺ

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaβ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

Published

17 thoughts on “The Overheating Of This Complex Person”

  1. I think it’s always best for the temperature to be set to the lowest preferred level. If people are cold they can always put layers on, but if people’s are too hot there’s only so much stripping down that’s considered socially acceptable.

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    1. Thank you!! I’ve always said this, and it’s why I prefer the winter. I’m not looking forward to the days of summer here where I won’t be able to do anything about the heat!

      Unfortunately almost all people don’t agree with that idea, don’t agree with the logic, especially when they don’t appreciate the significance of the problem, or even believe it. They can’t imagine how them putting on an extra layer would make things so much easier for people like me. I’m not somebody who’s meant to be cooped up inside, anyway! So if I could choose I wouldn’t even be having the discussion.

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      2. πŸ˜„. Thank you for your understanding! Even posting it here, I can’t help but brace for people thinking I’m a hypochondriac. I’m really not, I hate to complain, but life’s been such a struggle at times with a few major complaints like this which aren’t very common. It’s terrible and stressful to sometimes be seen as somebody who complains about small things, when I’ve been so limited in options and in how I can help myself. So I really appreciate it! πŸ™‚

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      3. The last few years my Grandma was living in her house, she would turn up the temperature ridiculously high. I could be visiting her in the middle of winter and need the have the central heating vent in my bedroom closed and the window open.

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      4. πŸ˜†. At least my grandparents always had/have nice, cold and airy houses! But I always had to fight with the temperature control at my parents’ house over the last 10 years.

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      6. Yup! I’m now finally cooled down πŸ˜πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ. God bless the night!

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  2. It’s good you can write about this Robin and it helps to take your mind off it!
    Thanks for sharing!
    I myself do like the heat to any extreme.
    Whenever we have traveled, especially in the summer, I have always wanted to go to places where the temps would not be too high as the heat does not have a good affect on me.

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    1. Thanks! You mean don’t like heat to any extreme? I think you mistyped the crucial word πŸ˜….

      I could manage heat if I was walking or running around in it, and constantly sweating! Then it becomes part of the physical challenge, which I always enjoyed. In Brighton I used to choose to go running over hills on hot days, for the challenge! πŸ˜†. I once ran through Las Vegas with my friend to get a coach as we were late, and we had 40lb army rucksacks on… that was the beginning of September. That was hard!

      I was doing well until that point today, just starting to get momentum with things, and was planning to write something creative. Now I’ve got to get back into that frame of mind again.

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  3. Yes, Robin, I meant to type, ‘don’t’ LOL
    Oh gosh, running through Las Vegas in Sept to get a coach would be awful, so hot there in Sept.
    When we traveled to Scotland, I loved the weather as it was never too hot and I enjoyed the rainy days as well.
    When it’s too hot and if I am out in that heat I can get a heat–stroke (that happened to me once and I am very careful now when it comes to very hot weather.)
    I see from your comment to ashleyleia you have cooled down, so glad for that! πŸ™‚

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    1. Yes, it was one of my hardest physical challenges! It was 40C πŸ˜…, and that rucksack was a killer. It was the same year as I did army training though, and I was at pretty much my peak physical fitness.

      Yes, I always felt the same about Scottish weather! It’s very nice to have no unbearably hot summer days!

      I’ve never had a heat-stroke and have no idea what one feels like. I kind of treat it like people telling me I’ll get a cold in cold weather (though the connection there is much less strong), but I don’t really know what you have to do to have a heat stroke, lol. I understand overheating and dehydration, but not heat stroke. Thankfully I haven’t had one yet!

      Haha! Yes I have :). It was just frustrating as it took my momentum away and my creative mental state 😠. Got to laugh I suppose!

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      1. Robin, heat-stroke can actually be quite serious,
        Some signs of it are high elevated body temp, headache and confusion. (I had all of those and had to go to ER and was treated and was fine after a few hour)
        You did Army training! Wow!
        You always impress me as I learn more about you

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      2. Ah! Thanks for the info about heat stroke :). Glad you recovered quickly!

        Haha, yeah I’ve done some random things! It feels kind of surreal to think back to it, but I did this University Officers Training Corps thing during my final year of university. It’s something the army does for university students, with the aim of finding people that they can fast-track into becoming officers, and giving the students something fun to do.

        Usually you begin UOTC at the same time as you begin studying, and do it for 3 years. But I found out about it during my 3rd year, when my best friend did it during his 3rd and final year. So I did it the year after (I did 4 years studying).

        You do weekly drill nights, and weekend exercises. They actually pay you too! I enjoyed it at times, but most of the time I found it quite boring and incomprehensible, to be honest! Lol. Nevertheless, it fit in well with the competitive spirit me and my friend had created between ourselves, with all things physical, and it definitely gave me some extra resilience which came in useful at times! I had pay slips addressed to ‘Private Smith’!

        I did so much really between leaving home at 18 and finishing my degree at 22! An extraordinary amount. Things slowed down after the knee injury but I have still somehow managed to find myself in a lot of different situations lol.

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  4. More murders are committed at ninety-two degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature. Over one hundred, it’s too hot to move. Under ninety, cool enough to survive. But right at ninety-two degrees lies the apex of irritability, everything is itches and hair and sweat and cooked pork. The brain becomes a rat rushing around a red-hot maze. The least thing – a word, a look, a sound, the drop of a hair and – irritable murder. Irritable murder, there’s a pretty and terrifying phrase for you.

    – Touched with Fire
    Ray Bradbury, The October Country

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