New Telescope Curse

Very sleepless, the last few days,

And last Friday, the realisation,
I could be making use of the backgarden,

For in winter,
It was a cesspit of rain water,
And cigarette-ends,

But now the smokers have been more tidy,
And the weather’s been so warm and sunny,

“Lockdown Britain basks in record-breaking April heatwave”,
(The two were precisely co-occurring!);

So I ordered a deckchair,
However, well aware…
Of the notorious ‘new telescope curse’;

The principle of the ‘new telescope curse’,
Is well-known, much-maligned,
Was much-discussed in noughties astronomy forums,

It is the simple observation,
That whenever one buys a new telescope,
They are cursing themselves to seemingly-ceaseless cloudy skies;

I patiently sat, through a baking hot weekend,
Got to Monday, noticed a textβ€”
The chair will be delivered today,
(Two days early),

“Oh no”, I said,
Looking out the window,
“That’s done it for the weather now”,
As I realised the prediction had come blatantly true;

“Lockdown Britain battered by unprecedented storms as lockdown heatwave does a runner”,

“Scientists have traced cause of lockdown storm surge to mysterious atmospheric anomaly,
Located over Southern England”



13 thoughts on “New Telescope Curse

    1. Thank you!! πŸ™‚. This was meant to be tongue-in-cheek kind of, just trying to convert frustration into humour :D. It’s quite a good tactic, as I often find a lot of creative inspiration through frustration!

      My eczema skin is absolutely dying for some sun rays. But yes, just need to hang in there for maybe a few more days!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks! Are you in the UK? Just asking because if you were, I was going to ask if you tried using the NHS volunteering app/system.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ah! Ok :).

        That’s really great you’ve been getting outside through helping people! That was very much my plan, too. I started looking into ways I could volunteer, then the NHS did an official recruitment of volunteers and announced that they’d use this app which already existed, to connect volunteers with people needing help.

        So of course I signed up to that, but didn’t get any alerts for the first week. Then they emailed saying they should start increasing now, then basically every 1-2 weeks they’ve been encouraging people to stay patient with it! But I now have 400 hours on duty and still no alerts! And I’m not the only one…πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ.

        So now I’m wondering how many people are not getting help they need, because people have essentially been misdirected into relying on this system to get involved with volunteering.

        I’m going to abandon it and look into other ways I can help out, again.


      3. These r just neighbors and people close by. Some r alone, etc
        I always loved to help people
        But doing this helps me as well as I dont have time to think of my newly broken heart 🌞

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh, cool! It’s great you have a good nearby community around you :). I love helping people too πŸ™‚.

        Oh man, sorry to hear of your broken heart! Double troubles! πŸ’™

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! Yeah, that far in land in that part of the country the weather can get pretty stagnant!
      It’s more exciting around the edges :D.

      Liked by 1 person

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