Conflicted

To get through monotony and boredom,
It greatly helps,
To practise a meditative state,

And to get through stress and irritation,
The same applies,
For me, at any rate;

It takes some effort of imagination,
To regain control of your reactions,

Choosing not to feel stressed,
Even when things only want to test;

Although I have to say, that it greatly helps,
Being surrounded by people,
Trying to do the same,

As I found at a meditation retreat last year,
β€”The calmness is infectious;

That’s why it’s so hard to be a monk,
To maintain this in all situations,

In order to retain your credibility,
As a model of neutrality and levity;

And perhaps, as a holdover of that period,
I consistently am left feeling weird,
After writing angrily about a thing,
Even when I say it humorously,

Because although it may be funny,
And it is right to speak out,
It’s not the most humble way to do it,
And that’s what bothers me.

By which I mean to say,
That 100% humour is fine,
And I just don’t like,
Combining angriness with that.

πŸŒͺ

14 thoughts on “Conflicted

    1. Ohhh Margie I’m so frustrated! I just perfectly cleaned the toilet and sink in the bathroom, was cleaning the kitchen worktop a bit and just as I was finishing the same guy walked past me into the bathroom. I was just about to use it having cleaned it!! 😨😨

      Liked by 1 person

    2. And now the toilet is covered in piss again. I just screamed at the top of my fucking lungs, I’m so angry!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Margie, I’m ok again now, talked to my other housemate who I’m friendly with again now. And had a smoke. Going to write about it :).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I also just found the antidepressant pill I thought I took earlier, a few hours ago πŸ˜†πŸ€¨

        Liked by 1 person

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