Hoard Immunity

Poem 1 Minute

As I rock back in my chair and watch the hoards,
Fighting over their soaps and sanitisers,

I smile most smugly to myself,
As I go for another press of prescribed emollient for my dermatitic hands.

As I rock back in my chair and watch the hoards,
Fighting over their used scraps of toilet paper,

I smile most smugly to myself,
As I enjoy another long go on the bidet.

Ok, second one’s not realβ€” but I wish it was!

πŸŒͺ

Published by 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑡 πŸͺ

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaβ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

Published

16 thoughts on “Hoard Immunity”

    2. I usually get no comments on these ‘silly’ posts, which leads me to believe that people are just liking them out of sympathy πŸ˜‚. I’m fine with that though! πŸ˜„

      Like

      Reply

      2. Hahaha! Thanks! 🀣. It’s really cool to know what other people think is funny, and compare to my predictions lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Highlights:

        The title,
        Smiling most smugly,
        Repetition,
        Used scraps of toilet paper,
        Long go on the bidet.

        🀣

        I enjoy deconstructing humour and figuring out how it works, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Also denigrating the general public as ‘hoards’.

        Like

      6. But particularly the morally-questionable panic-buying ones lol.

        Like

    1. Haha, thank you! πŸ˜„.

      Yeah I’ve always wondered why don’t more people have them. If I owned a house I’d definitely have one, I’ve always thought that toilet paper is a weird and inefficient solution for society to have settled on! A bidet would soon pay for itself in saved toilet paper costs. At what point will the increased environmental movement tackle toilet paper?

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    1. I just found this comment in spam, sorry! Thank you for your comment πŸ™‚. I was quite proud of this title πŸ˜„.

      Like

      Reply

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