Self-Sabotaging Again!

I’m sabotaging myself again,
By doing this tensing thing,

Turning something I enjoy,
And find relaxing,
(Being busy),
Into something very stressful,
And headache-creating;

My personality is changing,
My identity is going,
β€”I’ve turned from being me,
Focused and determined,
Into a withering mess;

OCD is strongly tied up with identity,
For me,
And those things which strengthen my identity,
Proportionately reduce OCD,

And OCD itself,
Whittles down my identity,
It becomes harder and harder,
To get out of this mess;

This has been the problem,
For so long,
β€”Actively trying to improve my situation,
Itself sets me back,
Creates another kind of depression.

It’s so fucking fucked up.
But I’m not fucking accepting it!!!
From this fucking point on,
I’m fucking stopping OCD,
(And yes, I can fucking do that,
It’s perplexing, isn’t it?).

Edit: I can’t do that,
Unfortunately πŸ˜†


11 thoughts on “Self-Sabotaging Again!

      1. That’s awesome, thanks so much! It was worth the pain then 😁. πŸ’™πŸ’™.

        Funny how the most gratuitous-feeling bits of writing can end up with the best comments πŸ˜†πŸ˜Ž.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha!! Thought you were going to say something like that πŸ˜πŸ’™.

        I just had to go away to find rolling face emoji! >_<. I'm setting up these emoji text replacements on my iphone. Then on the computer (which is a mac) I can type text shortcuts that turn into emojis. It's pretty clever. Only way for me to find the fucking things!

        Liked by 1 person

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