I hate hate hate hate,
The sounds of the creaking floorboards,
I’m suffused with anger,
And want to run 10 miles,

But I can’t,
So I’ll do OCD instead.

Is my only escape.


13 thoughts on “Rage

    1. Thank you!! Yes I also hate the eating loudly thing, it’s so painful. It’s good to see somebody else agreeing with the floorboards thing. It’s happening right now as I try to reply to comments…and really making me tense and want to OCD everything. I’m going to have to stop now because of it, and it actually makes me write more than I want to, because I can’t concentrate properly!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I β€œCan’t” really β€œI do not want” is the hard one because there is a question of how much hardship (either physical or emotional) the person can take and which really depends how important something is. For example if you ask me if I can jump from the 3rd floor – I probably can’t do it just for fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I agree. Hardship is a very subjective thing. That’s where for me, misophonia becomes clear. Because I can take a Lot of physical hardship etc, yet misophonia can still stress me like not many other things.

      I’ve done amazing feats of physical endurance in the past, that few people could do. Climbing mountains out in the big world, where these issues like OCD and misophonia are non-existent. So it definitely irks me to have to admit to and describe these problems of the sheer microscopic, and specific to the artificial world. It’s all deeply tied up with knee arthritis and my physical limitations.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thankfully it doesn’t wake me up once I’m asleep. Although who knows, I’d bet it is causing my sleep to be disturbed, too.

      That does sound stressful! :\. Part of the eeriness of it for me, is that the sound comes from all around meβ€” since it’s coming from the floor above, it can come from any side.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad you can sleep okay. I hope that’s always true for you. The value of a good night’s sleep cannot be calculated. I have just had a great sleep and then I stayed in bed for a while reading. So cosy with the high winds raging outside. What’s the weather like where you are? It’s actually quite sunny here, but very windy.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you. Actually, my problem lately has been sleeping too much! I’ve been taking valerian tablets, which are having a similar effect to the antidepressants, so overall they’re making me sleep very well and very long, haha. If I’m not careful I wake up too dehydrated!

        I couldn’t dream of reading in bed in the morning at the moment, mind is way to sleepy! But I used to do that, when a teenager. Would be good to get back to that eventually, actually. It relaxes you at the start of the day, doesn’t it? (When you don’t have bad reading OCD, anyway).

        I slept very well too, but took a while to get up, which I started beating myself up about. Then after I did get up and had some coffee, and wrote 2 good poems, I started ruminating and doing a ritual :D. Which gave me a bit of a headache. But I did very well the last 2 days with that, and I’ve snapped out of it. Messaging you is helping :). Thank you for your message.

        The weather’s not that windy here actually, and pretty sunny!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. And now it’s sunny here too! Robin, it’s lovely to hear that messaging me is helping. Thank you so much for saying that. πŸ˜ƒ I enjoy our exchanges. I wonder if you are sleeping a lot not just because of the valerian but also because your body craves sleep after everything you went through last year. And congratulations on getting out of ritual mode. I am wondering if you have a large soft toy at all. Sometimes, when I am feeling upset, I hug a lovely large panda that used to belong to my daughter. It really helps me. Have you got anything like that?

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s