Crisis In The Making

I went to lie down for a bit,
Instinctively,

Just to rest a little bit,
And get out of my head;

β€”Now this is where the antidepressants help me,
They help me,
To relax myself,

But it’s always the same,
β€”Just as I start to relax,
(And I started to feel great),
AN EXPLOSIVE SOUND,
From the ceiling above 😨,
And another,
A creepy, slow-motion creaking and banging;

Stress levels go right up,
Heart-rate shoots up,
My brain fills with anger,
Threatening to turn to RAGE;

F**k,
I can’t win πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ,

And honestly,
It’s causing me to scream,
Daily, now,
It just has to come out!

Has to.

Not just screaming,
β€”I’m slamming doors,

Throwing things,
And punching things,
This is deterioating,
Rapidly.

I’m going to the doctor,
Just to have it on record.

πŸŒͺ

17 thoughts on “Crisis In The Making

    1. Thanks, how though? It will only get better if I’m able to live somewhere quiet, which will be impossible. It’s not going to happen before I get kicked out of another place. And it’s crucial for recovering from the other thingsβ€” mainly OCD and rumination.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand. I think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I’ve seen pieces of you in your writing and I understand. You need to fight to get through this. You will find your way. Have faith in yourself Robin. You will figure this shit out. I have faith in you too ❀️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks a lot, that did help πŸ€—. I have been feeling better since that day. The ironic thing is, that my reactions to the noise only made more noise πŸ˜†, because it made the guy above uncomfortable. Today has been a lot better.

        Thanks again, I really appreciate your lack of judgement about it, that’s very rare πŸ’™. And man it’s a big luxury to have people telling me they believe in me!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hahahaha! That made me laughβ€” the mental picture of somebody screaming whilst vacuuming 🀣. But I actually know what you mean, I remember doing things like that when I lived in my own! Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. And it’s a big cause of the tics, started doing them again just trying to have a shower just now, hurting my knees :\.

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    3. I’m going to the supermarket though then to cook something in the kitchen with headphones on listening to a podcast. I’ll be well away from the aggravating sounds then.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. Thank you, I am feeling better now :). I will be out of the house a lot tomorrow, so that will really help. πŸ’™πŸ€—

      I hope my comments earlier didn’t sound rude. I really appreciate your encouragement πŸ’™.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Margie! I’m feeling better now. The best I can do is to keep busy, get out of the house as much as I can, and do lots of cooking and press-ups. All of that will reduce the time I’m in my room and help me to relax enough to mostly overcome it.

      A big problem is the sudden noises cancel out the effect of antidepressants, or anything mood-boosting, though!

      Liked by 1 person

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