Resident Permit

Poem, Silly 1 Minute

“Your driving license address,
Must match your current address,
Before proceeding with this application”,

Okays,
Applying online (for driving license) is always futile,
For some unknown reason,
Fill out the paperwork,
Buy a stamp,
Drive round the block,
Looking for a postbox,
Found one,
Done!

“Please send proof of residency to complete your application,
Please select from the following options:
Bank statement…”,

Ok,
I’ll get a bank statement,
Oh noes,
I need to update the address,

Oh no,
I need the card reader,
To update the address…
Where is it?

Ok done it,
Oh no,
I need to wait for Feb 8th,
To download the updated statement,

I’ll try going to an actual bank branch,
Oh noes, this queue is massive and there’s…
Somebody orating their Masters thesis,
To the clerk,
What the f**k?
“No, sorry, you’ll just have to wait until Feb 8th”,
“Ok, thank you”,
Never mind, only 5 miles,
And 2 hours ☺️,

Oh look,
It’s Feb 8th,
Ok, finally got it,

“Please provide proof of ownership of vehicle,
Please select from the following options:
Car insurance/certificate schedule…”,

Ok,
I’ll get the car insurance/certificate schedule,
Oh noes,
I need to update the address,

Need to log in,
“Please select ALL mountains and hills”,
😏,
“Your session has expired”,
“Please select ALL traffic lights and cars”,
😏,
“Please say the goddamn magic f**king word”,
No,
“Click here to make changes to your policy”,
“…But for all other changes,
Please dial this number…
Push this block…
…And pull this lever”,

Here we go,
Maybe I’ll write a poem whilst on-hold…
Ok done it,

Upload bank statement,
Upload car insurance/certificate schedule,

“Please pay Β£150.00”,

Motherf***β€”

πŸŒͺ

Published by 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑡 πŸͺ

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaβ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

Published

17 thoughts on “Resident Permit”

  1. Pingback: Resident Permit β€” π‘»π’‰π’“π’π’–π’ˆπ’‰ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒅𝒐 𝑢𝒇 π‘ͺ𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒔 πŸŒͺ – burndoubt

    1. Lol 🀣. I used to sing that song when I was about 8, showing off with a microphone! I dunno what the electric slide is though haha. Doubtless everybody else in the world already knows before me…😏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thanks! Haha, it wasn’t actually written in an angry tone, it was more amazement and humour. I was doing a good job of seeing the humour in everything yesterday, lol. If anything, the final twists were satisfying as they made it a story more worth telling πŸ˜†.

      It was dripping in sardonicism (that’s a word!) and sarcasm lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Perfectly-tender, sarcastic sentences, simply dripping with sardonicism…
        These are not just words,
        β€”These are M&S words πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰βš°οΈ

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Perfectly-tender, sarcastic sentences, simply dripping with sardonicism…
      These are not just words,
      β€”These are M&S words πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰βš°οΈ

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      2. Thanks! I appreciate that πŸ™‚. Yeah, I get more annoyed when it’s me messing myself up, to be honest. When something like that gets to a certain point, it gets too ridiculous to be annoyed at it anymore, haha.

        Your comment was hilarious though and totally accurate! πŸ’™

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Margie, thanks! Actually it wasn’t written out of frustration. More bemusement and humour, and I was in a good mood and having a very productive day 😁. I wonder how I could indicate that better! πŸ’™

      It was also to illustrate the ‘side-quest’ nature of my daily existence, lolβ€” with one of the most extreme examples.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      2. Hi Margie, no I thought it was totally understandable actually, and you weren’t the only person who read it in that tone! I’ve written a few legitimately in that tone recently! πŸ˜„

        Thank you, same to you! πŸ’™. I’m loving the fact I’m now posting stuff in the morning significantly before you go to bed, haha πŸ˜†.

        Liked by 1 person

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