Conditional ‘Love’

A family member keeps trying to contact me,
Because unfortunately,
During a time of desperation (in November),
β€”I shared a link to this personal blog;

But this traumatises me, in a fresh way,
β€”Having spent 7 months of last year,
Wanted by police,
Whilst living in my car,

Having spent months in his house,
And my parents’ too,
Gradually deterioating,
To the point of almost-suicide;

It seemed to take me writing poems,
For them to think I had somehow ‘changed’,
For them to seemingly show,
Any kind of empathy;

β€”This has been me, all along,
For all of my entire life,
It’s not my fault they never took me seriously,
And what if I’d been no good at writing?
Would I have therefore remained unworthy?

Of course, I would,
This is by now, so obvious,
And it can only be autism,
That could explain these vast differences.
(On both sidesβ€” this is my optimistic viewpoint).


14 thoughts on “Conditional ‘Love’

  1. Unfortunately majority of people cannot see the true person. It takes like you say to write a poem or an article to put it in black and white for them to understand and even then many do not undertand. Well done to turn things around for yourself. Just be you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep doing what you’re doing, you are finding you’re way and along this journey you’ll find that what looks like opposition is often an opportunity to learn something, sometimes about others but mostly about ourselves… and what you think of yourself is most important at the end of the day, keep writing it all down!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry, using phone and I am clumsy! I really appreciate you reading this and your awesome comment. I actually need that now!!


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