Emotional PTSD

There’s no way,
That I can foresee,
Talking to close family again;

For the root problem remains,
This duality in thinking,
A contradiction of moralityβ€”
To not want to help me problem-solve,
Yet take drastic actions,
To stop the symptoms,
β€”Where the symptoms are,
As they define them,
And state so explicitly and repeatedlyβ€”
The effect of my problems on them;

To not want to join me in understanding ADHD,
And other things,
And their effects on the family,
(In order to prevent a bad situation,
This cannot be stated enough),

Then prepared to phone the police,
Threaten and attack me physically,
(which they would neither agree with,
nor say sorry for),
And lock me out of their houses,
In my times of greatest need;

And that hurt, and set me back,
More than I can ever expressβ€”
I still feel that anger so strongly,
Over one year later;

My only option for living with that,
Is to not think about it,
Not contact them,
And focus on the positives,

But that just constrains my anger,
And from time-to-time,
I feel like releasing it (and should);

There is much about that time,
That I have not yet expressed,
And from which I still experience,
The emotional trauma.


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