Doing My Best

Anxiety, Poem 2 Minutes

Got off on the wrong foot,
With the new Jobcentre coach;

Feels like it’s always me,
Who ends up in these situations;

I’ve been taking in fit notes,
To be excused of commitments,
โ€”They’ve been very understanding,
And accommodating, actually;

My previous work coach,
She bent the rules for me,
Which was appreciated, massively,
And also necessary (apparently);

But, whenever I asked,
“Do I need to bring my fit note in?”,
Or even,
When I physically brought it in,

She smiled, and said,
“Shhh, no it’s fine…”,
Or some other hurried comment;

So this one time, I had to question,
Because I was sure she’d asked this of me,
Previously,

โ€”And the way that my brain works…
I need to understand the principles,
And incorporate them,
Into a consistent mental model;

Fortunately,
I got the hint at the time,
I stopped my questioning,
Because she was ‘stepping over’ the lines;

I reckon she’s been fired, though,
Because I shortly changed work coach,
The reason given: “Some random restructuring”,
Or some such,

But there’s a lasting legacy,
โ€”For now I’m habituated,
To not needing my fit notes,
Of which there’re also no record!

Add thatโ€”
To changing my address,
And changing GP practice,
Beaurocratic delays,
And understanding processes,

And we now have my new work coach,
Already tired of me,
And repeating incessantly:

“Whilst I appreciate that you have a health condition, it is your responsibility to provide fit notes as evidence, otherwise we cannot treat you as not fit for work . See you on Thursday with both fit notes”,

I know that,
I’ve understood it,
And I’m not an idiot, I swear,
I’m doing my best ๐Ÿค—:

“Hi <name>, thanks.

I understand that of course, but I’m currently waiting for the Dr, so there’s not much else I can do. I actually previously offered to bring fit notes in, but <other name> always said I didn’t need to, which both habituated me to not needing to bring them, and removed the record of them. It always confused me because I was sure I needed to bring them in, and had no issue with it.

Since my circumstances have been stabilised, once I can just get on top of these fit notes with my new GP, we should be fine going forwards after that. It’s now so close to needing the next one that I’m going to ask for a second one, or for this one to cover 2 months (to Feb 7th).

Thank you for being understanding and patient with me.”

I really don’t know,
What I would do,
Without this outlet,
And support from you ๐Ÿ’™;

Thank you, again!

๐ŸŒช

Published by ๐‘น๐’๐‘ฉ๐‘ฐ๐‘ต ๐Ÿช

I write poems which are mental health-themed, creative or humourous :). Within mental health I write a lot about: ADHD, OCD, anxiety, autism, emotional traumaโ€” usually with an optimistic slant. My goals for my blog are to give myself a therapeutic, creative outlet whilst also being able to connect with and relate to other people.

Published

30 thoughts on “Doing My Best”

  1. I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that over here the rules are always changing. And you never get the same person twice, it would seem. Our licensing department is the worst – last month the rules were laid out in a specific way. Next month, I need to renew my car license, and so I first checked any updates/problems that anyone has been having in local FB groups. I see that if I get Lady X, it will be fine. If I get Lady A or B, I need to now also have extra documentation. If I get Lady C, she will just send me away with some silly excuse.
    The bureaucracy of life, it would seem.
    Having to continually adjust is stressful in itself. Go easy on you. You’ve got this! โค

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Yeah, sounds too similar…I didn’t realise that was such a typical aspect of beaurocracy ๐Ÿคฎ

      I can’t even be bothered to spell that word, even though I can just right click it…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      2. True ๐Ÿ˜‚. Man there needs to be more laughing emoji, I’m getting bored of these now! Maybe I have to use different skin tones

        Like

      4. This emojiโ€” ๐Ÿ˜›โ€” just irrevocably reminds me of the South Park episode where they try to become lesbians.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Probly for the best, I’d only end up doing something offensive.

        Like

  4. Thinking of you and sending my very best wishes that today will get better and you rest easy tonight, Robin
    On my way to Phoenix Az
    My better – half is driving our motor home. The scenery is amazing.
    Wish you could see all the beautiful mountains my eyes are feasting upon.
    Take good care.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thanks Margie! It wasn’t too bad actually, I wrote that to quickly get it off my chest, so I could carry on :). The day has been ok, thanks! I’ve been up early and busy :).

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    2. Motor home! Sounds idyllic. I dream of having one of those! I’d love it. Maybe if I write enough… :D. Take a picture for me :).

      Thank you, hope your trip goes well!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. Thanks Robin. We just arrived at our destination. There are the most amazing cactus plants all around us . It’s a county park about fourth minutes from Phoenix .
        Sorry , I just follewd you again.
        Did not mean to unfillow
        My dog is to blame as he hit my wrist as I was,at your blog.and somehow I guess I hit the unfillow . Bad doggie . Lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s incredible that your dog unfollowed me!!! What a naughty dog indeed! Guess he doesn’t like the photos of Misty!?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That sounds amazing, a very different world to back home! Guess you wouldn’t rather be in Colorado, right now then? ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      5. It is amazing, Robin. I am happy to be here ๐Ÿ™‚ You would love it. Very peaceful too! Even though there are a lot of motor homes in the park, people are quiet and the scenery is breathtaking!

        Like

  5. Love your writing. Can I ask, how do you format your poems? I use the verse block so I can decide what goes on which line but noticed it cuts lines off on the WP reader, yet yours are always laid out beautifully. What block do you use? Hate the thought of people not being able to read mine properly. Thanks and keep up the good work. ๐Ÿ–ค

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Hi Joel, thanks a lot! :). That’s super encouraging to hear.

      I had to just go and play around then to see what you meant. I didn’t know about the verse blocks! They seem like they would otherwise be useful although they seem to force you to write in italics, too.

      I just use the default paragraph blocks. Do you have some other issue with those? I think maybe you’re using verse blocks because WordPress doesn’t make it intuitive how to keep lines together with the paragraph blocksโ€” If you press shift+return within a paragraph block, you’ll go to the next line without creating a new block. Does that help?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. You hero! I had no idea. I have so many edits to do now ๐Ÿ˜ซ. Hated that if there was a bit I wanted in italics, I couldn’t differentiate between tone etc. in my writing. So glad I asked, thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh man, I can’t imagine the frustration!

        It really annoyed me at first. Since I’ve worked a lot with computers, with computer programming etc, trying these different things comes intuitively to me. But it took me a few days/a week to figure it out. And even then it annoyed me so much, I used to just format my poems with one paragraph per line! So it was effectively double-spaced.

        I have no idea why WordPress makes the default so non-intuitive. Shift+enter also works in comment boxes! If you’re on a computer you can also drag the corner of the comment box in the sidebar to resize it, so you can see what you’re writing easier. If that makes sense!

        That editing is going to be such a pain…! Good luck. At the point I decided to start using shift+enter I had over a hundred posts to edit. I just did 10 a day and it soon went by. I didn’t even discover tags until about a month ago! Since I did, my blog really took off ๐Ÿ˜‚.

        I get the impression that many people don’t know about this shift+enter thing. I’m going to come up with a poem about it!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeah…๐Ÿ˜‚. No worries at all! Thank you for the encouragement! ๐Ÿ˜€

        Like

      5. I wish I could show you this graph showing the effect of me using tags on visitor numbers, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

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