The Last Week

This week has been so difficult,
I’ve gone backwards,
Relentlessly,

My friend stopped hanging out with me,
Why,
Is a total mystery,

My housemate experienced a trauma again,
Which,
Caused her to go backwards and become depressed,

My OCD and rumination got worse,
So,
I went to bed ever-later and later,

I forgot to go to Scrabble,
Which,
I was invited and looking forward to,

I missed the ‘personality profiling’ workshop,
Because,
I didn’t put it in my calendar!

The letting agency sent angry texts,
Though,
I’m the only one who cares about the rubbish,

I’ve been inside almost the entire week,
And,
I hate it and I’ve grown so weak.

πŸŒͺ

19 thoughts on “The Last Week

  1. The best thing you can do
    is stop the bad decisions
    start making the good ones
    is easier said than done
    believe me, I get it, I know
    a good way to start this fight
    start by making your mind
    one of your strongest allies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot!

      That actually really helped me, alongside an important brief conversation I had to clear something up with a friend.

      I’ve saved your little poem in a note, I will try to read it often :).

      In my ‘good decisions’, I will include the OCD decisionsβ€” whether to take it seriously or to fight it.

      Have a good day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This sounds quite harsh. Your transformations of real life events into a poetry is brilliant. Keep up the good work and I wish you some better days along the way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Maja! That’s really encouraging to hear :D.

      Certainly helps to give me reasons to keep going and to keep writing!

      Better days will come eventually πŸ™‚ and I’m going to try to have a good day today. πŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Urgh, more negativity in a message my friend sent. The one I was intimate with for a few days before new year. I’ve helped her quite a bit since which she appreciates but there’s been some misunderstanding about my intentions in some situations, whilst there is one example where I know I went over the line, which I immediately realised. Stupid.

      We were just arranging to meet tomorrow to discuss it, so I didn’t expect/want there to be too much chat in text. But the few comments I saw knocked me back again :\.

      To be honest, some of this misunderstanding stems from an irreconcilable difference which I already picked up on, which would probably cause more problems anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. A thing which really hurt though was that she was offended by the idea we had even been ‘intimate’, when there is no possible doubt about that.

      It makes me uncomfortable having to write this here, and she’ll read it if she’s still reading my poems. But I literally have no people to confide in outside of here!

      Anyways, I know it is fair for me to feel hurt, and the initial thing before New Year did hurt and break my trust anyway, if I’m honest.

      Thanks for reading this I just needed somebody to say it to.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem at all.

        If you need to say it, say it. You can always delete your comments if you start to get anxious about them being up.

        Things do sound complicated – and the natural propensity to overthink will be making things worse for sure.

        You just have to get through it as best you can. It’s all any of us are trying to do πŸ–€πŸ–€

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks so much! :). It definitely helped to write it out. And that’s a good point about deleting :Dβ€” at the risk of making it look like you’re hearing (reading?) voices.

        Yes, indeed, but they just got simpler today because the situation is clear :), so I can move on and stop worrying about it. Sometimes it’s just irresolution and dangling threads which make me most anxious.

        And that’s a good reminder!

        Like

      3. The whole thing has turned very ugly :\. It’s just collapsed around me, with hardly any interaction from me. I couldn’t face replying to them and it got worse. They’ve really misunderstood me :\. It’s left me with horrible ugly feelings and it’s extremely confusing. And this person goes to two of my very important social/support things. And they asked me to delete certain poems, which hurt, and I’m torn about it. Even though they’re obviously all anonymous.

        Like

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