The Weird Downside Of Feeling Better

Why do I keep staying up so late,
And sabotaging myself,

Even when I’ve got things done,
And there’s nothing in my way?

I’ll be honest,
A lot of times,
It’s been because I’ve felt too good;

I’ve always felt my best in evenings––
The most relaxed,
Energised,
Curious,

And since evening always comes after daytime,
Then the combination,
Of positive activity,
And medication,
Especially lately,
β€”Can result in a mood,
That is to die for;

So why would I go to bed,
And waste all of that?
Right when I’m feeling at my best,
In a long time?

For it is truly,
A celebration;

Ironic, isn’t it?
Perhaps this is a symptom,
Of just touching the edges,
Of feeling better,

And that if everything lined up,
And circumstances could remain stable,
β€”If I had a growing social network (in person),
For example,

Perhaps then,
I wouldn’t fear losing it.

πŸŒͺ

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